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[ With kind regards to The Right Honourable Joseph Addison, c. 1709 ]
Ah yes, quite possibly. And thank you for your interest. Though I must say, I usually prefer anonymity under such circumstances. Perhaps next time, if there is one, you would allow me the privacy to finish my Gambas de Palamos in peace? In fact, I get the impression you may be a bit of a ███. Yes, likely to be a complete and utter ███. You deserve to ██████ ███. You ██████ ██████ ███. How dare you? Look, I appreciate though, that you were probably well intentioned. Of course I do. And I wouldn’t wish to give you the impression that I don’t like attention from wellwishers. So, again, thank you for your interest. Perhaps if you happen to be in Kökosnøt again, and I’m there, do feel free to come over to my table and say hello. I shall be delighted to see you. All the best. Salut! Eiron.
Try using modified nicotine patches.
Now, you strike me, (from the tone of your question) as an individual who might enjoy a metaphorical yarn. Allow me, then, if you will, to relate a recent happenstance.
I was returning from La Vella the other day, when two stalwart gentlemen from the country’s constabulary stopped my vehicle. They had, apparently, mistaken me for a nefarious fugitive who was on the run. As soon as the inexplicable mixup had been resolved, we attempted to continue our journey. Unfortunately, the car (flatly) refused to start. Though when I say ‘start’ I should emphasise that the vehicle is of course electric. My driver offered to ‘take a gander under the bonnet’ (that’s ‘investigate under the hood’ US), but
[For brevity, the next 370 lines have been deleted, Ed.]
and so, you see, the first conclusion to which one jumps is not always the correct one – though sometimes it is.
No, you should not (unduly) worry yourself about the coming #AI revolution. In fact, it will be of tremendous benefit to mankind. Allow me to unpack this for you.
As should be obvious by now, #AI will never work properly. Thus, when the hopelessly inadequate plethora of half-baked systems have been installed (by the #AI showmen) in just about every walk of life, there will be endless frustrations and complaints on behalf of The Public. #AI, will, as a rule, be a universally despised mal-development. Deservedly so of course.
Thus, as a result, The Public will have a true and well-deserved target-of-agression. We shall be united the world over in our mutual hatred of #AI instead of (as is currently, by tradition, the case) hating each other.
No, I never, ever, ever, purchase any items ‘on-line’. At least, not from websites that have an ‘Add to cart’ button. Who on Earth do they think I am? Do they really think that I am the sort of person who would add something to a ‘cart’? Me, with a ‘cart’? A ‘cart’? The last time I had a ‘cart’ I was about two (and a half) and I used it to push around flagons of Malvasia, for my local malmsey supply business. I am no longer associated in any way with ‘carts’. I have grown up. I would urge you to do the same, no matter who pressurises you to the contrary. ‘Carts’ indeed.
Yes, I agree, it is regrettable that so-called ‘High Street’ shops are being closed down due to internet-based purchasing. The number of empty shops in many towns and cities is (for the last few decades at least) unprecedented. However, they will not, I believe, be empty for all that long. Market forces (as far as the landlords are concerned) will ensure that rents drop dramatically, and the shops will be rented to businesses that cannot be effectively be carried out on the WWW. That means, for example, tattooists, manicurists, and coffee houses – I can’t think of any others offhand. I further suggest that certain streets will begin to ‘specialise’ in certain areas. Therefore, all reasonably sized towns shall have a ‘Manicurist Street’, a ‘Tattoo Street’, and a ‘Coffee Street’ etc etc. That will make a welcome change from the current ‘Real Estate Agent Street’ , ‘Bank Street’ and ‘Global Retail Franchise Chain Street’ – will it not?
Capital ! I cannot thank you enough! What a joy it was when I opened my inbox today, and saw your über-ironic question! How I laughed! So much so, that I hurt my ribs and had to take a ███ ! The very idea that Central Banks put up interest rates to control inflation ! Hah !
Now, just in case other readers don’t share your highly developed sense of humour – I hope you don’t mind if I explain (for their benefit) how things really work. It’s certainly true that Central Banks put up interest rates when they see inflation is taking hold (that’s to say, above the rate that they desire). They increase interest rates so that they don’t lose out on the (inflation-devalued) cash they’ll be getting back in interest payments on the sums they’ve loaned out.
Anyway, thank you again. I need another ███ .
No, the advice which you have been given is piffle and balderdash. There is absolutely nothing wrong with talking to oneself in public. I do it all the time. However . . . if you wish to be prosocial, and minimise the inconvenience to others (some of whom will no doubt be disturbed by your conduct) then can I suggest a simple, but very effective remedy?
Purchase a pair of Bluetooth™ ear-buds (the kind that people use to connect to their dumbphone without cables). Make sure you wear them when out and about. Of course it goes without saying that you never need to turn them on. In fact, I have removed the batteries from mine.
That way, you will be able to babble away to yourself in almost any situation, and no-one will take any notice whatsoever.
Well . . . the problem with ‘Karma‘ is not that we do or don’t know about its existence – it’s the time delay.
If you put your hand on a hot stove, you will very probably remove it extremely promptly. There is only a very short delay (in human timescales at least) between your action and the realisation of the consequences. Can I put it to you that if there was a substantial (and indeterminate) delay between touching the stove and the pain it caused – you would probably be covered in burns by now.
Thus Karma – which is very evidently not instant, may or may not be in operation (despite the famous song). And, since the feedback is alleged to be years, decades, or even lifetimes late, we are very unlikely to be able to put 2 + 2 together at any stage.
Summary: I don’t know. You don’t know. No-one knows. We probably never will. Get over it.