Eiron’s Archives

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3) Get a ████ why don’t you.

Dear Xmalooco

Yes, of course it goes without saying that I am aware of C.G. Jung’s ‘Collective Intelligence’ ideas. Though it would appear that I do have to say it – so here goes. Dear old Carl was very nearly right, but as was so often the case, he had grabbed hold of the wrong end of the shaman stick. There is indeed a group consciousness that ’emerges’ to form an entity with greater powers than the sum of its individual members. It is not ‘Collective Intelligence’ however, but ‘Collective Daftness’.

To observe its current ubiquity and its acutely powerful effects in action, you merely have to turn on your television and watch ‘The News’ (on any channel, in any language). If TV is too old-fashioned for you, log on to your social media feed instead.

Dear tradsecint

I hope that you won’t mind if I do not directly answer your question about ballast requirements for container ships.  I think the question that you meant to ask was “What can be done about snowflakes?”

As you may have heard, no two snowflakes are identical, nevertheless, en-masse they do tend to produce rather similar effects. They form a thick and  featureless layer which obscures the reality which lays underneath. Such layers may only persist for a short time before they melt, but, depending on the prevailing climate, they may last several months, if not years. And, in extreme cases, many hundreds or thousands of years.

What can be done? I should point out that like any physical action, energy is required to produce change. In the case of snowflakes, if we have powerful enough equipment at our disposal (such as a snow plough) we may achieve quite a lot in quite a short period. If not, we may have to resort to melting them one snowflake at a time. All clear Ed. ?

Editor’s Note

It seems that Eiron has resigned – again. I’m sure he’ll be un-resigning soon. That’s what usually happens.

Dear waynescrattle

I am sorry that I was not able to help [see post below] It seems that my editor has decided that the public presentation of certain scientific facts – for that is what they were, pure and simple – has conditions attached. The implication is that only a privileged few should have access to such things. This clearly flies in the face of the principles of continuous free advancement of science and unhindered devolvement of knowledge in general – a cause to which I am deeply devoted. Sadly, therefore, I have no option but to resign my position as columnist with immediate effect.

Dear waynescrattle

Sorry to hear about your travails. I hope the following will help. The first step is to ████████ ███████████ █████ ███████████ ███████ ███████ Then █████ █████ ██████████ ██ ██████████ ███████ ███████ ████████ █████████ ██████ ████ ███████████ ███ It goes without saying, of course, that the utmost care must be taken with █████████ ██████ ████ ███████████ Good luck – do me know how it goes.

Eiron: As you will see, I have had to redact almost all of your post. I must emphasise to you (again) that this is very definitely not the place to publish such material. Please can you bear that in mind for the future. Ed.

Dear 3Ah45Kfe7cC21

Please refrain from trotting out hackneyed aphorisms that you clearly have not considered in any depth. No, “A stopped clock” is not “right twice a day.”

In the moments before the (internationally agreed) real time ‘arrives’ at the clock’s time, it is ‘Fast’. Then, after the real time has passed the clock’s time, it is ‘Slow’. Is it not? Thus you surmise, there must be a moment when the clock is ‘Right’ . That is not the case, because that moment is infinitely short. And infinitely short things do not exist, Any more than infinitely small things exist.

The philosophical trap into which you have fallen is the same as the famous ‘Tortoise and Hare’ problem – in which the time periods that the hare can utilise to catch up with the tortoise become infinitely short. It is a nonsense. Try the experiment for yourself (as I have) and you will find that the hare does indeed catch up with the tortoise – and pretty damned quickly to boot.

Small print: There is a tiny but nevertheless pertinent possibility that future research will show time to be ‘quantised’, that is to say that there may be a shortest-possible-time-period which cannot be further sub-divided. The so-called ‘Chronon‘. In which case please feel free to ignore the above regarding stopped clocks. The hare still wins though.

Dear Ffrauntelees14

Can I urge to consider the historical record before you invest in CryptoCurrency Mining.

If it’s a steady and secure return on investment that you are after, bear in mind what happened in the Gold Rush. The only individuals who made a reliable living out of the gold frenzy were those who were supplying the spades, ropes, tents and panning equipment etc.

Thus the smart-money today is behind the firms who are currently  manufacturing the bespoke GPU-based hash-function cracker units which are needed for the ‘mining’ process that the not-so-smart money is obsessed with. I suggest that you note too that they are (nearly) all Made in China. Need I say more?

Dear Captainmnemonique

Oh dear oh dear – where do I begin? Let me start from scratch. The whole point of a limited company (Ltd.) is that, in the event of insolvency, the directors are rather well insulated from any claims from investors or creditors – in most cases they will not be held liable. That’s what the ‘Ltd.’ means. Limited liability.

Private Finance Initiatives (PFIs) are methods of creating ‘Public Private Partnerships’ (PPPs) – where private firms are contracted by governments to complete and manage large scale public projects. In this case, the directors are even more insulated from the people to whom they owe money – since the creditors are primarily members of the public, who have been forcibly coerced (via taxation) into investing in a firm they know nothing about, and, more importantly, who have no hope of ever getting their money back.

It’s an ideal method, you see, of creating truly gargantuan financial stitch-ups. Far far better (from a stich-up artist’s viewpoint) than a plain old ‘Ltd.’ company or ‘PLC’ where the risk that some pesky upscale investor will have the cash to fight the scammer(s) in court is quite high.

Does that explain ██████ ‘s recent bankruptcy for you? The public perception is that they have performed extremely badly. From their point of view though, they have scored a triumphant success. Having (for decades) scammed billions from the taxpayers. With the certain knowledge that they will not be held accountable.

Eiron. For legal reasons I have had to redact the firm’s name. Of course that does not in any way imply that I disagree with your viewpoint. Ed.

Dear questgrin_john

Much concerned to hear about your lack of success regarding the correct cooking time for Xmas Cake. If I can be of assistance. The cooking time depends on an extensive array of variables including, but not limited to, the balance of ingredients, the ambient temperature, the oven temperature, the water content, &etc.

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