Eiron’s Archives 03

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Firstly, I think we must ask ourselves, where, exactly, the ‘ consciousness ‘ of the toothache lies. Is it in your brain and nervous system or, is it within the tooth ? In fact, we should investigate whether the tooth could itself possibly be a ‘conscious’ entity. We most certainly know that it is ‘alive’ – although if we were to ‘tick the boxes’ against a list of criteria by which most people define a living thing, then we should come up against some severe anomalies ! ( which I will cover later ).

I believe though, that given your very evident awareness of it, you would probably agree that your tooth is much alive. So, as I have intimated, the next step is to try to postulate a construct which might explain where – if anywhere – the ‘consciousness’ resides.

Before we can do this, however, we need to ascertain whether the tooth could in any way be considered ‘an entity’ in its own right – in other words as distinct from ‘you’ – that is to say your corporal ( rather than an embodiment of your own ‘awareness’ ) self.

It is, it goes without saying, a ‘part’ of your body – and could not exist in a ‘live’ state outside of you. And yet it is very obviously distinct from other body parts ( apart from your other teeth of course ! )

And so, our primary task will, and I hope you are with me on this, be to understand where the conceptual divisions – of entities – that is between your ‘self’ and the tooth – if there are any – may reside.

Let us first examine then ‘what it means to be an entity’ . I would like to postulate the [ that’s enough thanks. Ed. ]

Dear SapcebAH

I confess that when I first saw your question in my in-box I nearly dismissed it as lacklustre flotsam. Luckily though, it remained reverberating in my brainbox until I realised that it is, in fact, a most interesting conjecture.

You asked ” How much does a bolt of lightning weigh ? “

And yes, of course, electrons do have a finite mass. 9.109 x 10 – 31 Kg. in fact. And I think we can safely assume that an average lightning bolt would encompass a very great number of them indeed.

Alas, I regret that my resources don’t permit me to do the requisite mathematics, but the more I think about it, the more I am convinced that a bolt could well ‘weigh’ several grammes.

I have little doubt this ‘weight’ would help to pull down the bolt to towards the Earth’s surface. And I would like to point out too, that the scientific theory behind the initiation and passage of lightning bolts is embarrassingly frail – and your very valid point may well need to be built into future calculations.

Dear PlanSifter

The short answer is yes. But please promise me that you will never try it. Do as I do, and stick to a nice bottle of Chateau La Mondotte Saint-Emilion ( I recommend the 1996 if you can find it )

Dear Pan0plexativ

You asked – and I reprint this verbatim – “ Does sugar ruin a motorcycle ? “

Well, Pan0plexativ, that would depend what you had in mind to do with the sugar. Were you thinking of sprinkling sugar over it ? If so, I would recommend waiting until the engine is sufficiently cooled-down, or you will certainly end up with certain components of the engine in a very sticky and unsightly mess. Which parts ? Well, Pan0plexativ , the word ‘crankcase’ springs to mind.

Dear bbseeplaydoh4

I confess that it had never occurred to me, but, yes, on reflection, I do think that there should be studies into the effects of third-hand tobacco smoke. After all, if you breathe-in secondhand smoke ( which we now know to be highly damaging ) then we can safely assume that some of it will be breathed out when you exhale. A third party ( if you will forgive my literalism ) may well breathe-in this residue and could unwittingly be jeopardising their health.

On the other hand, where would this line of enquiry ultimately lead ? Worthy though it may be, I fear that the entire scientific resources of the planet could eventually be sucked into this open-ended fractal of ever diminishing risk analysis.

Dear Tregulik

You enquired “ What is the cubic feet volume Salisbury Cathedral ? “

Sir, firstly I would urge you to use the metric system if possible and try to think in litres rather than cubic feet. However –

if you multiply Winchester Cathedral by Westminster Abbey and divide the result by Windsor Castle I reckon that you won’t be farther than two orders of magnitude out.

Dear Yz_15_ee_sUhbe

Normally I would steer well clear of such questions as “ Where can I get plans for home-made weapons on the internet ? I will, however, make an exception your case – since I do, in a sense, sympathise with your ‘cause’ – for yes, I agree with you, [████████] are [████████].

This may be what you’re looking for.

Dear Banleft12

Thank you for sending me the details of your antigravity device. Unfortunately, I cannot say with any certainty whether it would be technically feasible or not.
And I am not at all sure that I concur with your statement that “ There’s too much gravity around ” . . . Maybe we could agree though that there does seem to be unduly large amounts of it concentrated at certain locations. Perhaps you should concentrate your efforts instead on designing a device which could spread it out more democratically ?

Dear glyph0dear

Your question was “ Why do cats purr ?

My answer is “ I don’t know

I would like to add though, that neither does anyone else. I really don’t lose any sleep over the matter. I like to run the engine of my Bentley for an hour or two, then I curl up on the bonnet (hood) and I’m away for hours.

Dear kipkziet7117

Well, it’s fairly self evident that you are heating it far too strongly ! You shouldn’t let it get above 145C or it will denature. You will end up with a substance that is only useful for garden fertiliser. Though I’m sure that your geraniums will be very happy indeed for several hours . . .

Dear snow22therockies

No, there is no difference whatever between aluminium and aluminum, ( other than the ‘i’) so you can fully relax in your cooking foil purchasing expeditions.

Dear motor [████████]

I won’t comment on your e-mail handle other than to enquire whether you are from Idaho or not. In reply to your question though – regarding spectral invariants of the b-calculus and generalized APS boundary problems of Dirac operators.

Have you tried defining an auxiliary b-smoothing operator acting on scalar functions on the half-line ? I would recommend also that you consider using one-dimensional Dirichlet and Neumann Laplacians.

Or, you could go the bar and sublimely forget about it. As I did.

Dear hugufffncrust

I am not at all certain that I agree with your conjecture that it is more probable to be severely injured (or worse) by a piece of falling fruit than from the effects of too much [ ████████ ].

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